before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Pants are for mortals
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
