Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
