She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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