then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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