Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
