yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
