Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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