I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
