Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
