a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
foreskin is a definite game changer
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
