we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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