I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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