You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
