Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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