THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
