can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
