GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
