Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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