Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
