3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
