Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
