If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
This is my gift to your gina
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
