and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize