no, he came in my armpit
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize