If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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