its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
