now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
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