I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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