she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
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