piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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