If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
