The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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