Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
