I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
