One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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