I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
time to smoke my breakfast
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Boobs speak an international language.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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