And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize