quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
