also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
zippers are such a cool invention
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
