Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
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