all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
