i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
