the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
