I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
