My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
