Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
