Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
