your parents love me but you hate me
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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