Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
