he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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