1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
