Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
