Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
