What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
