SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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