he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Randomize
