so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
