Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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