Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
