I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We are all done wearing pants today
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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