So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
