I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
