I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize