Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
