dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
