He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize