Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
