Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
