Whod you bang
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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