Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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