i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
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